Vocari Dei means "Calling God" in Latin. I took this title from a Pain of Salvation song, and, despite the plagiarism, this simple words carry a powerful meaning to me.
I grew up in a very religious environment, but my parents persistent attempts to show me "God's Grace" has failed. It is not that I don't believe in God or anything, I just can't believe in religion in general. It is very hard for me to see the difference between one's personal convictions and the real will of God. Or in other words, I simply cannot understand why an almighty God would use impure vassals to communicate his Grace.
My parents constantly say "Thanks to God this happened" when something good happens or "It was not God's will" when something bad happens. But in my eyes this is nothing but chance. The same concept applies to prayers. Wonderful things have happened to me both when I have prayed and when I have not, ditto the other way around.
Anyway, my point is: if God, does indeed, exists he is far more apathetic than what people believe. Perhaps God is nothing but the sum of all of our ideals and fears. It is very terrifying to think there is someone or something constantly watching you, and this being will be responsible for your fate in the afterlife. To me, this sounds way too earthly and human fabricated.
I, for one, will keep believing in God. But my conviction in his existence will, by no means, interfere with the way I will make my decisions or live my life in general.
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